Polling Day Humor 2

This made me laugh….who really in control here? courtesy of the the BBC..

Polling Day Humor

The search for significance

Over the past few weeks. One thing that keeps coming back to me time and time again is just how desperately we search for significance in our lives. It seems to me that it’s often the very thing that drives us.

The more people I meet, the more I realise how much this drive affects everything.

Yet there has to be something more powerful than the drive for significance, and I think it’s simply an understanding of who we are in Christ.

A little while ago I was exploring the topic of identity, how we have been robbed of our godly identity. It seems that it’s the enemies greatest strategy has been to keep us focusing on everything else hindering us from finding the peace, hope and the security that can only be found through Jesus.

It’s funny, but the more people you meet striving for significance the more you realise that there’s something missing, striving isn’t pretty and it’s costly too. It robs us of peace, it causes conflict, it causes pain, it causes tension and competition between the best of friends and it drives some people to extremes. I think of someone like Katie Price, for example, who is so desperate for significance, so desperate for love, that she’ll do almost anything to get the sort of attention she craves, you could say she sold her soul. And though she may be an extreme case, are you and I so different? 

How many times have we chosen to walk a path that has caused huge compromise in our lives? What about that career choice to climb the ladder at the expense of somebody else or at the expense of my family or my closest relationships? What about the times when our identity is so wrapped up our position that we can’t see the wood for the trees and we can’t see the damage that we are doing to the people around us? The times when we’re so busy in self-preservation mode, because of these weak fragile foundations that we’ve built on, that we treat people around us like second-class citizens?

The good news is there is a point that we can find peace in Christ, and by that I don’t mean peace with the compromise, but that place of total surrender. Simply put, if Jesus died for the sins of the world, then, we have to be able to receive the forgiveness and healing that he paid for and striving is, after all, just another sin, if we strive we are basically saying that what Christ did on the cross wasn’t enough, but it clearly is. It has to be.

I realise how much I’ve tried to pursue significance through different avenues over the years from the music career to evangelism and the prophetic gifting to leadership, things that should be godly yet been used for my own purposes, my own significance.

What I have realised now, as I’ve willingly ( though sometimes painfully) surrendered most of these things just how dependent I was on them for my sense of significance and subsequently how free I am now (which is rich coming from a bloke who’s just written his own story and published it in a book and writes a blog on the world wide web). I love the freedom I have now, it’s funny, even Dawn has noticed it, there has been a major shift. Somehow by God’s grace I have allowed him into some of the most secret places of my heart and He is bringing such freedom, love and joy. At times it’s hard to contain.

I suppose my fear is that somehow, I will get snared up in all this crap again at some point. But I have to choose not to walk in fear but in openness and humility with the possibility that the Lord may ask me to lay it all down again sometime. To be quite honest with you knowing just how free I am right now I would willingly do so again, though that is easier said than done.
Recently some people have labelled me radical, some people labelled me extreme or even a heretic and it’s funny even with those labels I can find myself finding significance in the titles, but in reality the only place I should ever look for significance is in the heart of my heavenly father.

It seems to me, everything good comes from rest, everything good comes from a place of peace, Jesus said “come to me all who are weary” and I’m sure he means more than being simply weary of religion, but being weary of striving, weary of trying to find significance, weary of being so selfish. All we really need is to know is that we are loved by the creator of the universe, unconditionally, and then from that point everything else changes.

It doesn’t matter what you do, it doesn’t matter what title or position you hold, once you’re free from striving, once you’re free from the desperate search for significance nothing else matters and surely that’s the place that we need to be.
I find myself in a peculiar place these days where I’m just pretty comfortable being myself, being a dad, being a husband, whether I’m playing in a band, writing a book , teaching guitar, digging the garden, blogging or speaking at an event I think I’m finally coming to a place where I’m comfortable in my own skin, you could say I am becoming who I am, and surely that’s the point?

Just being myself no labels, no titles, just as God intended me to be.

The point of Jesus Christ dying on the cross and restoring us into a place of relationship with God the Father is that the essence of our Father can be found in us, in you, in me. Isn’t that what being filled with the holy spirit is about? Bearing the fruit of the spirit so that we can be like Christ, sons of God?

There’s a line in the book of Romans that says “The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed” surely that’s you and me, that’s our destiny. Once we truly learn to live as sons of God, to be like Christ, to walk as Christ walked, to live as Christ lived, the world will be transformed and surely that’s the point.

But we have to have all our other dependencies stripped away, all our false identities, all our masks, then we can just be who God has created us to be, human beings not human doings. For me, this season has been one big lesson. To begin with it was as if I was walking into the desert but perhaps I’m actually walking into the promised land?

I am prepared to count the cost, I want to live at peace with God, I want to learn to do what I see my father doing and surely that’s only possible when there are no other agendas no other distractions.

This is how Jesus lived, so surely that’s how we can live.

So there is a great challenge where do we look for our significance? do we look to status, positions of power and authority, do we look to our career, labels, titles or do we look to our heavenly Father?

Food for thought.

My book

I’ve been a little quiet on the blogging front recently as I’ve been travelling a fair bit, but  the good news is I’m back home safe and sound with the family now, I’ve missed them loads and it’s great to be back. Then as if that wasn’t enough my new book is now available for sale .

After more than two years of writing, re writing and editing, my book “into the fire” is finally finished.

I’ve often been encouraged to write my story whenever I’ve spoken and shared snippets of it at events and with friends. After much soul searching I finally thought I’d  go for it. In short, it’s the story of how I came to faith after growing up in a broken home followed by years of drug abuse and dependency then how my life has been restored and transformed after a power encounter with Jesus.

You can get a copy directly from me for £5.99 (plus p&p) on the book page or by hopping over to Canaan press Here.

I hope you enjoy the read, Jx

Return to base

I’ve just got back from two weeks in Central Asia – my third trip to this wonderful part of the world. I just want to feedback a few thoughts…there is so much to unpack but here are a few thoughts for now.

I went not knowing Gods agenda, but went looking for connections, opportunities to learn what the father is doing and to see the kingdom break in – I was not disappointed, though I know there is a great deal more to come.

I was travelling with a great team of humble Jesus lovers (four of us in total) with big servant hearts and a desire to do the will of the father. Much of the purpose of the trip was around the work of the Holy Spirit with teaching and demonstration, God showed up time after time after time.

There was so much healing being done, daddy was healing up the broken hearted and bringing much refreshing, we also saw some healing miracles, deaf ear opened, knees and joints healed, kidney pain gone, to mention just a few.

Its incredible how hungry the people are for God to work there, and he’s doing some deep deep work. I came home encouraged,  I think because of our journey here in the UK I  seemed to effortlessly mesh with what is happening over there at times it felt like stepping into comfortable slippers, the connections seemed so strong.

There is also a major shift in thinking happening, I kept having conversations about organic church, underground church, a shift from empire building to Kingdom, the presence of God throughout the whole trip was tangible. The father seems to be using the political atmosphere to provoke thought and new ways of doing things, I’m really excited about what will emerge over the next few years.

Its always interesting coming home, the first time I had such a culture shock,  the second time less so, this time I think I’ve realised that the lessons that God was teaching me have started to be outworked here in my life, we have made massive changes in the past 3 years.

I often wonder why God can move in such power over seas but it’s so hard here, and I don’t think it’s just our materialism and wealth, though these things  surely have an influence, I think it’s deeper than that…I think it’s because we have learned to mask our needs…we’ve learned to build complicated façades of which materialism and wealth is just a part, we don’t want to visit the pain and hurt, we mask it with stuff, with medication, with self importance and busyness and many other learned coping mechanisms that keep God at arms length – humility is surely the key to seeing God break into our lives.

It’s funny you go to serve and give and come back richer, challenged and different as a result – My passion is to see things transformed here in the UK yet I’m learning so much from our friends on the other side of the world, bring it on.

Found this interesting – thanks Paul

Thought this was a good article on the topic of spiritual covering from Paul Leader over at Martin Scott’s Blog – Here

The deadline is getting close

Having spent nearly two years planning are preparing, my book “…into the fire” is almost ready, it’s really quite an odd experience, around this time next month I should actually be taking delivery of the finished item…how scary is that!

I felt some years ago that I should write my story, and after a rather coincidental sequence of events I met a small publisher and was encouraged to put pen to paper, So I have and all being well it’ll be finished very soon.

It’s simply the story of how I met Jesus with a powerful and life changing encounter how I found freedom from drug abuse and the difference that has made to a man who would almost definatley not have lived if it were not for Gods grace.

I really wanted to simply tell of Gods goodness, it’s not just a book about me, but, I hope, one that speaks of Gods grace, love, power and mercy and I really want to encourage others to tell thier stories too.

Our stories can make all the difference in a world that struggles to believe that God even exsits let alone interacts with the world, especially on an intimate personal basis.

We can get so caught up in theology, religion and the business of “church” we forget the simple and mind blowing reality that Jesus loves us and wants  us to know him and share that love with the world.

I hope you get the chance to read it, it’s just my story and I’m just an ordinary guy, but I really hope it inspires you to trust in the God who’s love changed my life forever.

I don’t have a price for the book yet (should be sorted v soon)  but if you’re interested drop me a line and I’ll save you a copy.

Cheers

Jx

Lessons from the Chrysalis – there are two types of power

I want to explore some of the things I’ve been learning throughout the chrysalis melting down process that I have been through during the last two or three years.

Firstly I’d like to say it’s been quite a painful process mainly because throughout this whole time the spirit of God has begun to highlight all the motivations of my own heart and reveal how so very easily, in my fallen nature I automatically lean towards the desire for control and power, significance and status. I have at times unwittingly aligned myself with the destructive (and demonic) spirit of Empire. At times I have coerced, manipulated, controlled, dominated, exaggerated, all of which are tools of an empire spirit and not the Kingdom of God, the biggest problem is that the systems I / we have belonged to also function along these lines, if they didn’t they often wouldn’t exist. Consider as an example the heavy teaching on giving yet your main focus of giving is to the institution?

To have these areas exposed is no easy process. It does come at a cost and many golden calves have had to meet their maker, there has been a great deal of pain, and many tears shed, that said, the peace and freedom that I now experience beyond that process has become quite simply, life changing.

What I realised is so much of my education through the church institution actually builds on the same foundations of Empire and not the Kingdom of God. Much of which is built on a desire to people please and look good and legitimise what we are doing instead of getting on with the life  we are called to live. We are taught to be leaders not disciples, we are taught about church and not Kingdom, we’re taught how to control not liberate we focus on religion rather than faith and too often churches are built on the foundations of business rather than Kingdom principles, there is a very subtle, but utterly destructive power at work behind much of our “church” practice.

I realise much of my frustration and anger and (subsequent depression) has been focused around the institution, much of it rightly so. The institution eventually corrupts or destroys those who serve it, the desire for self preservation is what seems to motivate and drive beyond the desire to release and empower and at times, simply do the right thing. Time and time again I hear stories where self preservation conflict with the messages taught from the pulpit and the institution wins out over the individual and people end up heart broken, downtrodden and sidelined, if not out rightly rejected and ousted.  If we were really doing church as the NT demonstrates everyone that belonged to any church would grow up into mature Christians, because that is what is expected of them, and many of the power struggles would be non existent. They would not be dependent on “leaders” or the institution, they would walk in a deep relationship with Christ and with a sense of fulfilment in life and within the body.  Much of the deception of institution is to keep people in immaturity rather than released to maturity and then it can continue to exist. Also if we are employed by the “institution” we become financially dependent on it, and even less likely to address the core values and issues that lie at the foundations of it. Unless we are the founder of the institution or senior leaders / pastor we will find that when we do address these issues, we suddenly find ourselves “not fitting in”. This is not what was modelled by the early Church apostles who would establish the church the leave the (ekklesia - gathering) to stand on it’s own two feet with all members seeking the leading of the holy spirit and very little interference from the apostles, the role of Elders for example would have been the older (wiser) disciples that would have been a good point of reference from experience but not there to lord over anyone, they would still participate with the same kind of equality as everyone else.

Something else I’ve learnt is that though there are major flaws within the institutions. God still works through them, this does not legitimise their existence however, but God will meet with people who want to meet with him, we must hold our wineskin’s lightly! This is also true for people, I know because God uses me and I’m flawed, we cannot assume just because he uses us that we somehow are untouchable or “the lords anointed”. Another thing,  no one else is responsible for my walk and relationship with Christ. How I deal with issues are down to me, Christ loves me unconditionally, I must do like wise, and expect others to do the same, especially those in “leadership” yet often those in leadership seem more broken and flawed than many that are not, again the desire for significance can shape us into the worst kind of leaders. There are times where I may need help when I hit an impasse and I am very grateful for those who have helped me through such times but  anyone who teaches we must submit to them goes against the whole flow of Scripture. Sadly, the heavy shepherding teaching that emerged in the 70′s and that has never really been put to death contradicts the message of Jesus Christ. No one mediates for us, except Jesus what this teaching does is make people dependent on leaders rather than on the leading of the holy spirit and very quickly it can be used as a tool to coerce and control especially when questioning said leaders. On top of that often the desire to submit, (because that is what you are taught) to gain acceptance can be the very thing that comes back and stings you later, again I’ve experienced that and I know of others who have done too.

I believe there be some really dangerous and destructive teachings at the core of much institutional church life yet with just a glance through Scripture viewing things through a Hebrew world-view rather than the Greco-Roman perspective that we have inherited in the western world you would soon realise that there is an alternative. Leadership for example, is one area, I feel needs to be radically readdressed, we believe authority to be imparted because of position and recognition by the leaders within our institution yet from a biblical perspective leadership is life demonstrated by example (consider Elders) we shouldn’t talk about generosity, if we aren’t living generously. We shouldn’t talk about freedom unless we are releasing, and real authority never demands that you submit to it. We have to live an incarnational life, many of the problems in church, is that we teach principles that are not necessarily practised because they are too costly.  There is no hierarchy, yet it’s our development of hierarchy within the church that not only maintains immaturity, but also creates a glass ceiling that separates the “professionals” or “leaders” from the “laity” or ”followers”, this is a distinction never made in the new Testament. Many leaders are frustrated with the lack of ownership by the wider body of the Church yet it’s the very institution that they serve and position they hold that creates this separation. Many “followers” feel undervalued and second class citizens, and we wonder why the church struggles?

Within these structures people are drawn to “leaders” but in reality they are being drawn to power, like the underlings of the Emperor, the perception being the closer I am to leadership the more important I am and thus developing a hierarchy . Yet it also causes the power struggles and tensions that are visible throughout most churches often ending up in division and horrendous back stabbing or worse, massive efforts from the top to keep everyone in line! I have tried over the years to fit in chasing the dangling carrot of influence and power only to find there is no carrot at the end of the stick! Also I can recall several instances where I / we were “popular” or people wanted to associate with us because we were in a position of “leadership” yet now we no longer hold those positions some of those people have very little to do with us whatsoever. The flip side is that we also have found new friends emerging, perhaps because we’re not in ”leadership”?

I think even our understanding of the five fold ministry gifts need to be reassessed, they are gifts not titles or status labels they serve a function. God gives us gifts to share with others, the fivefold ministry gifts are there to develop maturity in the body . Not to be used so that I am recognised as a pastor, prophet, apostle, teacher or evangelist, remember we are here to serve not to be served, but also that when we’re not functioning in these capacities we must allow others to speak into our lives.

From my early days of meeting Jesus I’ve come to see that from that very first meeting point the DNA of the kingdom of God was implanted in my spirit, which is true for every born-again believer, sadly my desire to belong and for significance has pulled me away from the leading of the spirit of God and towards the seeking of approval of men and leaders I’ve made several massive cock ups because I didn’t feel I could go against the perceived leadership!- a difficult lesson learned and a tough addiction to be broken!  My very first encounter with Jesus was in a non-institutional setting amongst a group of young Christians from different denominations and backgrounds, and it was a powerful encounter that literally transformed my life overnight.  From that day I always hungered for that kind of community however I have never found it in a “traditional” church setting no matter how hard I try.

So where to go from here? I think these lessons and many many more are still be formed within me so I’ll have to wait until I emerge from the chrysalis to see what it will look like!

A wise man once said “there’s the love of power or the power of love”, which one do we choose?

Jx

Chrysalis

Things have been quiet for me recently, blogging has slowed down, I think perhaps it’s that much of my “noise” has now been voiced and subsequently there’s less to vent? Have I found a new place of peace? Has all my vocality been simply expressing the things that have been churning on the inside and in need of an outlet?

Several years ago I was in a meeting where I prophesied – the lord is doing a new thing, back then I had no idea that it would mean such movement for me / us personally, but as an incarnational person, things have to start with me, besides new things are different, they have to be or they are not new it’s just window dressing.

I do feel like my mind and practices have been through some serious transformation, a friend of mine wisely described my process as a metamorphosis, I’ve been in the melting down mushy phase of the chrysalis (the place where caterpillar and butterfly are completely un-recognisable) perhaps now things are starting to re shape? I don’t think I’m out of the cocoon yet, but I’m looking forward to emerging.

The way life is shaping up is very different, many of the old ways of doing things have gone, stepping out of the institution and finding peace is a wonderful thing and though I don’t know what the future will look like the unknown doesn’t seen daunting, but exciting and challenging.

2010 holds some interesting opportunities and and great deal of mystery but there is an expectancy to meet with the Lord within it.

So lets see, perhaps I will make a new sound when I emerge?

What a great book.

It’s not everyday that you read a book and pretty much everything it says strikes a chord within you, but I’ve got to say this one has.

Frank Viola‘s book Reimagining church (you can find it at Franks website or at Amazon) is a healthy critique of our current church practices (from house church to high church) with depth and a clear understanding of the Old and New Testament he casts a revealing light into so many of the doctrines and perspectives that I have personally been exploring over the past few years…but puts it so much more graciously than I!

He explores topics around community and gatherings, leadership and accountability and reveals many of the poor practices that have taken hold of the the 21st century church.

Just a few posts ago I mentioned a post by frank on Organic Church, and for those interested in going deeper on this subject, I think this could be the book for you.